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Resisting Healing States

As I proceed in my quest to massage and free my bladder from pain, I come across a resistance. I know this well especially when trying to slow down my movement, my thought, or my runaway energy.

In meditation as I begin to slow down I want to move around. I sometimes must have the car radio on or some activity to keep my mind occupied. All these are my resistance to slowing down and receiving calm or even a basic care for how I am doing. Too tired, hungry, frustrated, in pain, all these elude me as I resist slowing down enough to respond.

So this morning I am spinning following the gentle spiral of a double helix image. The image is my massage tool to encircle and undulate the bladder area. Yet as I slow down to receive messages from the area, I feel the urge to keep the speedy spin going. Acceleration is exhilarating and it seems easier to feel the entire body engaged at once.

Yet when I slow down, my whole system want to urge me to speed up. I can only surmise what this feeling is, a deference to my directed system of body brain or a fear of knowing too much or a lack of responsibility to respond once I am asked to respond. Whatever it may be I have only one approach other than forcing myself to be still in meditation or increasing the intensity of my focus on moving slowly.

One approach is to follow the movement. In meditation we are encouraged to follow the breath and allow energy to flow through us. In dance, acceleration and deceleration are two ends of a spectrum so the approach is to simply follow the movement to the end of the spectrum of slowness and then stillness. This is a specific study in dance and feels normal.

These are procedural answers that seek to by pass the resistance. My problem is that if I have to keep thinking and conjuring up ways to get around resistance, that takes away energy and throws me more toward the forcing of myself to sit still or moving slowly.

Instead I always revert to one basic approach. I ask. This is more elusive and comes with more responsibility. I ask myself to accept the slowness. I ask my body what it needs to release. I ask to receive strength, care, and clarity from the basic processes of life within me.

Asking and willingness to receive is called surrender. This is a different network of brain and body that has no goal, only to receive. Challenging? Confusing? That is why most people do not pray to know and respond.

Surrender is an open space with no guarantees, only the freedom from direction to receive what we need. Of course the warning is that as humans we jump to conclusions and deceive ourselves. Comes with the territory and means for me more asking and more listening. Argh. I do not want to make the mistake from deceiving myself. I do it anyway and get back to clarifying my question so that I can recognize the next message as clear.

This is more information than any of us wants to know. So we choose our piece of the pie that we can live with and ignore the rest. That has got me here with a compromised system allowing my blood pressure and bladder to respond to my busy life. More asking now and more surrender to an open view that allows agility of movement to prevail. Tim Hurst 12/08/17

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Enter Healing States

Today I am challenged by my illness and my body wants to lay down and cry. Everything wants to tense around the internal hurt of a compromised bladder.

As usual I begin to move and immediately shift to a dance state. How are all those grungy feelings erased? They change as I raise and lower through my entire body and as I rotate around my spine in every possible variation.

My focus shifts between my whole body with all its emotion and specific areas like the pelvic diaphragm that alternately expands and lifts. I use a simple pressure point on the side of each hip to encourage this movement.

Then I shift the double helix image into vertical and horizontal placements to keep a gentle rotation going while I focus on the nurture of specific areas.

In healing, I have to keep reminding myself to receive signals as much as I send them. My eyes are the best teachers for receiving, releasing, and refreshing myself. The eyes naturally receive images except we direct and focus our eyes to match our desire to push toward more.

When I relax my eyes and slowly follow a hand or follow a tilt of my spine, I experience a refreshed lift in my attention and in my hope for the next moment. Then as I allow my eyes to circle in an opposite direction from my facing palms, the movement is calm and releasing to the muscles of my eyes and to my breath.

The healing state is one of receiving strength, hope, care, and joy. I experience the dance state as a methodical process of entering the healing state.
Tim Hurst 12/08/17

An explanatory view.
I enter Healing states to experience movement as agile, supple, and supportive to my entire body. The basic principle of connecting body and brain is to move slowly. Signals with in my body will move at lightning speed yet my attention is on slowing everything down. Slower means more integration of healing signals and more ability to receive healing signals.

Whether I use the defined center spine movement of Ballet, the counter rotations of Tai Chi and Chi Gong, or the spinning of the child and the Sufi, I enter a healing state.

For me this is a dance state trained to access every section of the body horizontal and vertical. The dance state interconnects all the body sections while setting up networks of signals between them.

Especially for healing it is important to not only build connections but be able to receive signals through those connections. Instead of pushing the body with a singular focus, it becomes important to receive strength, to receive the warnings and the care offered, and receiving the joy that comes from entering the dance state.

The moment I begin dancing I feel my emotion and body join. I anticipate the next movement, the next insight as a precious surprise to be nurtured and shaped. My hope is to respond to the calls for help and for celebration from every aspect of myself.
Tim Hurst 12/08/17

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Dance of Repair

Today my dance is a gentle rendering of my care for an infection in my bladder.

Lifting my pelvic diaphragm frees my bladder to float or at least in my minds eye. Those lifting signals are received at the Dancer’s Diaphragm floating the shoulder blades and the Lats under my arms. A network of signals is established, sending returning signals back to the pelvic region and to the bladder.

Shaping and reshaping a double helix image begins an internal rotation that engages the edges of the torso between the two diaphragms. I twist my torso to engage the kidney area and free the entire spine to move together.

I reform the two double helix from each hip crossing the torso to the Lats under my arms. With each rotation the movement generates from the internal rotation rather than a directed outer image of the body. My focus is freed internal sensation plus the image of the double helix always in rotation itself,
Tim Hurst 12/06/17

I have allowed my intense work schedule to take precedence over high blood pressure and now weaknesses in my bladder area are showing the results.

What I know is the beauty of my dances as renderings of my care for myself. My attention shifts easily through each connection in my self. I can picture and build movement to and from the damaged areas of my bladder. A recognizable exhale and full inhale are signs of connections made.

Yet I have pushed myself beyond the place of simple repair and I have to acknowledge the blood pressure must be dealt with. Hopefully I can return to more rest, shorter work hours, more dancing and walking, and this will assist in my healing.

My desire is not to have to push my body to respond with antibiotics, surgery, and medicinal blockers of my heart activity.

This mornings dance is a recognition of the vital connections of cranial areas including the brain to every part of my nervous system, my muscular control centers and support networks.

My spine responds by recognizing the tension caused by this new stress from the bladder. Allowing and following the free movement of my spine is key to not allowing spasms to occur from unattended tensions around the spine.

I am vulnerable and asking all the questions of myself and my creator of how a repair process is possible.
Tim Hurst. 12/07/17

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Fractal is Dance

Fractal geometry is characterized by self similarity and endless iteration. Using dance, the human experiences the fractal as a simple form that varies by repeating an infinite range of combinations. Using this experimental process, dance interrelates all the human systems and has the outcome of simplifying the entire experience in a melodic form of metaphor.

Dance is a friendly entry point for using the fractal. Actually dance is already built on the fractal with its full experience in every direction, every mood, every dynamic, every rhythm.

Dance is defined as the principles that were selected through evolution and hard wired along with music into the earliest humans. Dance movement is similar to music which uses only twelve notes and is infinitely able to express in melodic statements the unity of a person, a generation, a people.

The artistic process like the scientific process is built on simple elements that are combined into an infinite number of experiments. Dance deserves our focus because it uniquely interconnects every human system physical, personal, motivational. Dance goes beyond mechanics to the quality of movement and to the interrelationship of emotion and the building of the self.

Fractal concepts are applied in dance by the use of pattern, interconnecting signals throughout the entire person through perception, rhythm, timber, and melody.

Pattern are added to pattern down to the smallest size and to the slowest speed. Basic shapes are triangles and spirals.

Signals are differentiated through the nervous and limbic systems. Signals initiated from specific areas of the spine define movement qualities and dynamics of mood and emotion.

Quality is defined as variations of initiation and extension giving concepts such as sustained or staccato, flicking and floating.

Dynamics is a use of increase and decrease, emphasis to initiate force or ease.

Anticipation precedes initiation with either arc or continuing line. The variations interrelate the processes of perception, integration of new forms as they emerge, and the process of metaphor to simplify and express the building of the self and the community.

Rhythms are constructed of sound and silence. Rhythms are visualized with shape using a binary mode made of short and long durations.

Timber is identified with imagery of sensation, color and taste.

Melody is the formation of a metaphor to represent a person, a people.

Perception differentiates incoming signals and builds awareness and interconnection of each human system. Perception may begin with the eyes, ears, nose, taste, skin, then progress to the sense of chemical and electrical modulations within the body, then may become interrelated to the processes of anticipating and initiating transformations and finally to the building of the self through metaphor. Perception may be within a range of both familiar or unfamiliar experience. All experiences are integrated through fractal processes of identifying simple forms, varying these forms in infinite repetition of combinations.
Tim Hurst 09/06/15