In a movement meditation I came across the reason my mind seems to freeze. It is the reason I apply too much force when trying to learn new patterns and why I retreat to improvisation that allows space for me to try variations of the pattern.
Playing with eye movements, I followed one hand with one eye and then closing that eye followed my hand with the other eye. I discovered two completely different worlds in my experience of each eye. My left eye followed an expansive fluid flowing world. My left eye moved easily in all directions and my emotion was joyous and curious. My right eye was limited in its movement, resisting peripheral movement.
Comparing the two eyes in a panoramic movement from one side to the other, I again felt the difference. With my left eye, I felt the fluidity of movement and the ability to vary the speed from extremely slow to fast. With my right eye, there was more limitation. I was surprised that every action seemed to be a command with a pause between each directed movement. The effect was jerky and abrupt movement.
From the Anat Baniel Method, the description of this difference might mean a problem with my brain mapping my body. Baniel suggests that recognizing differences in movement is a first step to remapping the brain.
Following her process, I brought attention to my two eyes and began to build the puzzle pieces that would distinguish the different experiences of my left eye and right eye. It is almost like conversing with both experiences gives the brain the time to map the difference and begin an integration period that connects those areas of the brain.
The difficulty became apparent in the panic feelings I felt when exploring the experiences of my right eye. I needed some movement that would allow me to follow my right eye without building more panic.
I chose an image of fractal movement that begins as purposeful and immediately follows multiple variations. My wish is that with this image I can distinguish the differences in the experiences of using both eyes.
Fractal movement begins with a simple curved movement. The same movement is repeated with an added curve somewhere near the middle of the move. The variation can be a bump or a semicircle or a loop. The second movement with the variation is repeated adding another curve on the first variation bump, semicircle, or loop.
At this point, the brain begins to play with adding loops upon loops that become circles upon loops in a playful movement that never ends. My brain can not conceive and direct this level of complexity but with play I am asking myself to allow a continuous flow of experiences.
This is extreme yet I found some responsiveness in both eyes. I hope to explore what is needed for both eyes, whether beginning the process many times help or if panic arises.
The image is not related to Anat Baniel Method but I will use the principles of attention, extremely slow movement, and variation.
Tim Hurst 11/09/17