I have limited my dancing in public because I needed to learn to love every move as something I own. I needed to delight in every exploration and every surprise as a gift without thinking about what it looked like to other people. I also wanted to dance with Ginger as a gentle interchange of energy that could delight us both.
I am the perfect person to take this on because my body seemed to need constant direction and lots of force to complete any sequence of movements. Learning was not me encouraging myself but me forcing myself to move.
Add to this that I had very little pattern memory and had to basically relearn a movement each time I did it. I luckily discovered what Ballet and Modern teachers call “sending Energy” and every movement became a series of sensations that I could follow as long as the Image stayed with me. When the Image would fade away, I had to improvise long enough for the Image to return.
So I took on the challenge of finding a way to love every movement I made and a way to remember sequences.
Tim Hurst 01/23/19
With the discussion of marijuana and opioids, the issue of a full range of medications comes into view. We seem to direct our goals to replacing chemicals we already generate within our selves. Or if necessary we block the receptors or replace the balance of the body with our own designed balance.
All these approaches are generally a one way approach of what our thought can conjure as computer data to design a model of life.
The problem is that we have no idea what life is as a separate physical, chemical, or mathematical reality. We are thinking, feeling, emoting, self and group directed people trying to concoct a model for life. Our thought has led us to much destruction and to high rates of depression, suicide, and almost a love affair with addiction.
There is however a subset of people that are preserving the brain as we know it. They are dancers, musicians, and people of prayer who are deemed different or creative and thus easily discounted from a data point of view.
Meanwhile, the dancer has an intimate relationship with endorphins, dopamine, the connecting and reconnecting of synapse, the monitoring, and healing of injury, not the least is the override of trauma that provides personal perspective upon ones life.
Obviously creative and religious people get lost in our cultural searches that end up in discouragement and addiction. This is a common trait of us all.
What these endeavors hold is a common process of life and learning developed over thousands of years. They deserve another look to get a glimpse of the brain and the networks at work that are disappearing without our notice.
Tim Hurst 07/24/18
I live only because of the opportunity to move in two directions at once.
I do this with a trajectory of curving that does not collide but rather rises and suspends and subsides.
I do this with a willingness to meet all intersections with delight in every crossing and every parallel movement as the actions of following and leading emerge.
I live within the dialogue of my trajectories and and my intersections. This dialogue becomes my experience that I embrace for better and for worse.
The pathways and the meetings require more courage and more insight than I have at any one moment. I have to rely on an inquisitive delight that is a gift and a part of me that knows how to grow.
The courage I ask for is to trust this gift inside me that relates me to all other life. When I accept the courage and the gift then I join with other life to grow. When I refuse this courage which is my default choice I shrivel and turn away from growth and away from life.
The dialogue between trajectory of curving and intersections of movement reveals more about myself that I can conceive.
I am trapped in my isolated experience that refuses to move between the two arenas.
Real and unreal
Self and other selves
Love and hate
Clarity and confusion
Decisive and distracted
True and false
Micro and macro
Skills and personality
Physical and spiritual
Mechanical and melodic
Forced and natural
Bold and subtle
Directed and surrendered
Dominant and sujagated
Deceiver and Deceived
Seeker and sought
Controlled and uncontrolled
Conscious and unconscious
Health and Disease
Strong and Weak
Agile and stiff
Hurt and healed
Taumatized and peaceful
Delight and despair
My only truth is that I am built to move between the two directions. Each has its own pathway and each has its own intersections.
To the degree that i take delight in navigating with a curved trajectory and a willingness to engage all myself within the intersections offered to me, my experience becomes my own as a part of a greater whole. I accept the gift that means growth and that guides me through all circumstances.
Tim Hurst 07/23/18
I join Dancer Dragon Slayer.
We choose a tree where we will prepare for our journey.
We close our eyes, We enter secret spaces, expansive kingdoms.
Here I will know the fullness of courage that will carry me
to the Dragon’s lair.
The moment my eyes close, my dance begins with movements so slight, I feel my eyes joining the tree quietly rustling with delicate breezes and also creating our own breezes simply with our hidden eyes.
I recall thousands of moments just before entering a dance. Silent. Absolutely still. Readiness becomes brightness.
My eyes relax and move calmly spreading to receive the life around me preparing to send waves of life that my eyes will precede and then follow.
My breath gives way to spreading and lifting brightness through me. My arms too give way to a weight as if they are falling into gravity in all directions at once.
We enter our secret kingdoms the two of us, Dancer Dragon Slayer and I.
Tim Hurst 07/09/18