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Resisting Healing States

As I proceed in my quest to massage and free my bladder from pain, I come across a resistance. I know this well especially when trying to slow down my movement, my thought, or my runaway energy.

In meditation as I begin to slow down I want to move around. I sometimes must have the car radio on or some activity to keep my mind occupied. All these are my resistance to slowing down and receiving calm or even a basic care for how I am doing. Too tired, hungry, frustrated, in pain, all these elude me as I resist slowing down enough to respond.

So this morning I am spinning following the gentle spiral of a double helix image. The image is my massage tool to encircle and undulate the bladder area. Yet as I slow down to receive messages from the area, I feel the urge to keep the speedy spin going. Acceleration is exhilarating and it seems easier to feel the entire body engaged at once.

Yet when I slow down, my whole system want to urge me to speed up. I can only surmise what this feeling is, a deference to my directed system of body brain or a fear of knowing too much or a lack of responsibility to respond once I am asked to respond. Whatever it may be I have only one approach other than forcing myself to be still in meditation or increasing the intensity of my focus on moving slowly.

One approach is to follow the movement. In meditation we are encouraged to follow the breath and allow energy to flow through us. In dance, acceleration and deceleration are two ends of a spectrum so the approach is to simply follow the movement to the end of the spectrum of slowness and then stillness. This is a specific study in dance and feels normal.

These are procedural answers that seek to by pass the resistance. My problem is that if I have to keep thinking and conjuring up ways to get around resistance, that takes away energy and throws me more toward the forcing of myself to sit still or moving slowly.

Instead I always revert to one basic approach. I ask. This is more elusive and comes with more responsibility. I ask myself to accept the slowness. I ask my body what it needs to release. I ask to receive strength, care, and clarity from the basic processes of life within me.

Asking and willingness to receive is called surrender. This is a different network of brain and body that has no goal, only to receive. Challenging? Confusing? That is why most people do not pray to know and respond.

Surrender is an open space with no guarantees, only the freedom from direction to receive what we need. Of course the warning is that as humans we jump to conclusions and deceive ourselves. Comes with the territory and means for me more asking and more listening. Argh. I do not want to make the mistake from deceiving myself. I do it anyway and get back to clarifying my question so that I can recognize the next message as clear.

This is more information than any of us wants to know. So we choose our piece of the pie that we can live with and ignore the rest. That has got me here with a compromised system allowing my blood pressure and bladder to respond to my busy life. More asking now and more surrender to an open view that allows agility of movement to prevail. Tim Hurst 12/08/17

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Dancer Truth

Dancer truth is very simply the image from which a movement emerges.

The movement is my summation of myself at a moment in time and space.

The movement is the replication of my strands of experience, genetic and situational, that have formed the person I see, feel, and interact with.

With my personal movement I set in motion an infinite range of molecular transitions within all humans and all life in my vicinity.

To discover truth I only have to experience my own movement as it interconnects with other life.

Yet there are the hasty ways I summarize myself to satisfy many yearnings. Illusion and deception are their own set of skills.

What can I do? I watch the dancer experiment with vast realms of truth. I follow a kind of protocol for their experiments.

The dancer confers with the nature of the human and finds experience skills. First engage all resources, all human systems, all the ways of interconnecting internally and externally. Second, make peace with the unknowns where surprises are created. Third begin with the simplest movement of all these resources and combine their simple connections into networks of connections. Fourth, sort the variations of connections by rhythm and melody. Fifth, slow everything down so you can insert images that can be replicated in every cell within and outside the human system. Sixth, openly interact with other life to modify the summations of movements.

Yet there is still the prevalence of illusion and a taste for hasty compilations of my self. Trite solutions that are harmful to self and others can proliferate. I study the dancer who trains their focus to work within the illusion. They develop an agility to move between narrow task centered focus and a broad interconnected focus.

The illusion can be turned in minute degrees to get different perspectives and to reveal not only choices being made but also where the illusion began to take hold of the the human system.
Using an agile alternating focus, the dancer goes deep within the self to create new movements, rhythms, a song that reflects the emerging self.

Yet I may still hold on to a reluctance to yield a unified response to the emerging movement song. This is what the human calls “a bottom.” There is no alternative than to ask for a clear pathway.

Who to ask is both critical and negligible. I will ask trusted friends who may side with me. I will ask my creator or my personal guide to the creator of all life. I may ask into a silence of complete unknowing. The dancer asks within the movement, slowing down everything to listen carefully. This is where I begin and end.

Simply asking within the self will bring perspective for the person who is agile in interconnections and in focus skills. Yet like the insistent person in prayer, asking must be persistent and tested repeatedly.

I must ask over and over, “Is this true?” The responses come from every corner of myself with a unity that is undeniable and irresistible. The results are rejuvenating and not depleting. The results are helpful and not harmful.

Expending energy is a complete experience of total engagement. I respond with all myself and meets head on both the initial fear of so much power within me and also all the doubts and self criticism that follow. There is an immediate bounce back of life within and outside my self..

A truth has become another song, another movement.
Tim Hurst 09/14/17

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Reversing Trauma

My study is of the point of venturing beyond known territory and receiving the courage to surrender previous connections. Prayer, meditation, and religious ritual have long been the entry points for this balance point. The tools for these practices since the earliest humans have been dance, rhythm, and singing. My study of these practices is my life’s work.

So many discoveries are being made about our neurological connections to our experience. Anat Baniel works with children and adults to retrain neurological connections. Her books, Kids Beyond Limits and Move Into Life are breakthroughs as are her therapeutic work with all ages.

Last night I saw two movies. One called Resurfacing was about the discoveries of combat veterans who stored their experiences as PTSD. This group used surfing to bring the veterans to confront the way they stored their experiences and get ways to begin there lives again. They used phrases like, “Learn to tell yourself a new story.” Meet that place of complete uncertainty. “I was totally engaged with the wave. Nothing else could get into my mind.”

They also dealt with the larger question of vulnerability that has been erased from their minds as soldiers. The ocean became a power greater than themselves. Their only hope was to respond to the power of the waves under them. Crashing and bailing off the surf board were a part of the learning. So was surrender to personal intuition and to the power beneath their feet and beneath the board they were standing on.

A second movie used martial arts and sword fighting in Korea as a metaphor for dealing with past traumas, ancestral and personal. The television series was Lucid Dreams. The process was the meditative experience of being able to go backwards in time to change an experience. Their use of music, artistic imagery, and martial arts gave me a visceral experience of this process.

With lifetimes of practice individuals supported by groups have achieved the ability to go inside a trauma or a guilt and reverse a downward spiral of self destruction and addiction. Today this critical balance point is being explored by the necessities of modern culture.

Experience of this balance point have been codified for example by meditation and martial art practices. What happens in building a code for a process like tottering on the unknown is identification of a specific goal like Nirvana or domination. Then we have to force ourselves to be true to the process. The examples are obvious, to meditate we have to remain still or maintain positions beyond our endurance level. With martial arts we have to hold the goal of meeting an adversary.

These systems have value in themselves yet they do not deal with the original search for access and entry into both an open macro view with no specified goal and a specific micro view to create and interchange connections.

My study is of the point of venturing beyond known territory and receiving the courage to surrender previous connections. Prayer, meditation, and religious ritual have long been the entry points for this balance point. The tools for these practices since the earliest humans have been dance, rhythm, and singing. My study of these practices is my life’s work.
Tim Hurst 09/06/17

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Experiment Dance Meditation

Continuing experiments with sending and receiving signals, my wish is to prepare my attention for the unexpected and become responsive to the messages of my body, my self.

I practice movement meditations that blend micro movements, spinning, and singing. One element of dance that is consistent to these experiments is curved motion, rising and falling in every movement and movement patterns that involve loops and spirals.

I may follow a sequence but mostly I practice listening to my inner messages and making shifts of direction and using pauses that seem to satisfy the flow of my sensations, emotions, thoughts.

Dance incorporates this kind of responsive meditation at the beginning of each Ballet or Modern class. These beginning sequences are often called Barre whether standing or laying.

A dance approach to meditation is different. For me it is important to understand what is involved in meditation and how it can help me to be more receptive to internal and external signals.

Dance has inspired and absorbed the wisdom of many traditions, one is meditation. Meditation is an attempt to be completely receptive, attentive to internal sensations, feelings, and thoughts. The process is to allow all these inner experiences to flow through the self awareness without interruption. By following this process, the hope is to train ourselves to an agility in our thoughts, emotions, and eventually our actions. The results can be peaceful or can be a flood of unattended emotions and fears that must be allowed to work their way through our self awareness.

Meditation is a ritual to follow and has been associated with holding ourselves in stillness and sometimes in a variety of positions as in Yoga.

Dance has also inspired and absorbed the wisdom of interactive prayer. Interactive prayer is the sending and receiving of messages that are designed to open the doorways to the person. Messages sent vary from gratitude to asking for openness. Messages received also vary from a kind of spacious anticipation to specific insights or even visions.

Interactive prayer is also a ritual that has been associated with both stillness, with singing, and with movement. Examples of singing range from communal singing to ritual chants. Examples of movement are monks walking a labyrinth and Sufi spinning dances.

Dance training mirrors this process as each dancer develops a receptivity to their internal messages, asks for an attitude of curiosity for the next moment, responds with melodic sequences that reflect their discoveries, and then hold a moment of silence to allow their whole self to integrate these experiences.
Tim Hurst. 04/05/17. D

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What is Human Power

Accessing Human Power
How much power does a human have? The basic question is how much access does the person as an individual and as a group have to human power?

Let’s look at an abbreviated inventory of the power of the human:
Synthesizes light and air into nutrients.
Assimilates and adapts to natural and synthetic nutrients.
Assimilates data and perspectives in the presence of nature and other people.
Cycles and recycles through challenge and self encouragement.
Has an intricate system of monitoring, adaptation, and defense for harmful substances and chemical imbalances.
Forms and reforms self healing adaptations to rejuvenate the entire human system.
Filters all circumstantial changes through a network of what we divide into physical, mental, psychic, and spiritual processes.
Activates a sensual network from smallest particle to intricate interconnections throughout the entire person.
This sensual network activates warning systems that translate signals through a wide range of messaging options. The easiest message to interact with is pain. Prior to pain are more subtle messages that have their own networks for attuning human perception to sensations, calibrations (of chemical and electrical status, of balance, agility and spacial placement), initiation and momentum, anticipation and hope, balance points of synthesis internally and externally, and the translation of each attunement into visions, verbal cues, and interactive conversation.
Actively modulates along many spectrums gauged by the contexts of vulnerability and certainty.
Negotiates with the internal and external push and pull of self interest and group survival.
Encapsulates large amounts of data into concise formative projections and artistic renderings.
This list of human power is filled to infinity with the individual and group experiences of all humanity past and present.

The practice of accessing all these powers began with the earliest humans and are preserved in the study of dance, music, and interactive prayer. The source of human power is life itself.

The process of accessing all the power available rests on the willingness of the human to enter the power of life. Entering life requires both vulnerability and certainty, qualities that humans constantly stumble over. Our entire systems prefer to operate on a narrow range of options that are controllable and predictable.

Dance, music, and interactive prayer open areas of experience that point to the variability of life. They codify ways to approach the building blocks of life so we can begin to digest principles and points of view beyond our imaginations, beyond our thought processes.

Just a simple example of the variability these forms bring into our experience. One of the elements of life we can see is the wave form that is continually varying along many spectrums. Each form, dance, music, and interactive prayer, bring an intimate experience of the wave form into every system of the human. The entry brings instant access to powers of life that are automatically given to the human.

The purpose of human life is to activate those powers by discovering access points and the courage to enter and experience the powers on deeper and deeper levels.
Tim Hurst 03/25/17